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So I didn�t send my email to the Artboy. I went back to the Yahoo mail site to retrieve it from the draft file and reread it, and instead found a message from him in my inbox. He told me all about an art show that was written up in the Phoenix that he juried, and another show that�s going to be all his art that opens on Friday night. It was a chatty, friendly email. Not the kind you respond to with a "That�s great, stay out of my life."
So I responded. I asked about the gallery, and about the show that opens this weekend. I chatted back. I told him about going to the funeral, and about my potential summer plans. Small talk, email style.
Today, I got back this (with a few small changes to protect the anonymity of the online journal and to correct the Artboy�s atrocious spelling and grammar. What do you want�he�s an artist!):
Yo Yo Yo what�s up? I think the gallery will be open March 23rd. The gallery CD release will be at the XXX XXX on the 30th and 31st. My show that opens Friday is a group show at 000 XXX Street at the XXX XXX Art Space. The opening is around 7 or so I think. If you want to go to any event I am a part of feel free. If you feel comfortable. I know it will be awkward at first.
I am very happy right now. Really busy but really happy. I have been going out with a girl for seven months now and we are really happy. I would like for you to meet her at some time. She is still at her parents� house in France till the end of the month. That was were I was for New Years.
Well that�s a bit much and I am covering a class right now and they are getting a bit loud. I'll talk to you soon. If you ever want to call my number is 000-0000
Peace out
(Artboy)
Okay, then.
It�s funny. I�ve known for months that he has a new girlfriend. That wasn�t news. The weird part, though, is that I read the words "I have been going out with a girl for seven months now and we are really happy," and although it made me pause, what I realized I felt was relief. I know that to the untrained-in-Artboy-speak eye, it may look like he says "really happy" one too many times for it to be true, but I�ve known him long enough to know that this isn�t him trying to convince me or himself. He actually means it. And as much as it was a relief for me to read it, I�m sure it was just as much of one for him to write it. The facts being out in the open like that kills that "walking on eggshells" feeling.
Of course, that leaves it to me to come clean with him. I guess. If it�s important. He knows I have a boyfriend. He doesn�t know it�s the Boyfriend. I�ve somehow omitted that part thus far. He was in so much pain over the end of our relationship; I didn�t want to make it worse by rubbing in his face the fact that I left him to get back with the boy I�d dumped to go back out with him in the first place. Again, I guess it�s a question of not looking at it as winning and losing.
The Artboy and I both won. The spell is broken. Knowing that he�s in a good place, that I didn�t ruin him the way he told me I was going to by leaving gives me a weird peace of mind.
The CD release will be fun, I�m sure. I�m thinking about going. Only if the Boyfriend would come with me. The Artboy has been working with some of the other people who lived in the building the gallery used to be in, the building that was torn down not long ago, to put together a benefit CD. All the bands on the album were connected with the building somehow. Some of them had practice space there. Some actually lived there. Some grew out of projects that started there. Most of them involve people who used to be my friends, people I haven�t seen since the Artboy and I broke up. People I�d really like to see again, now that I�m separate from it all.
It would be like visiting another version of myself. Like looking in a foggy mirror.
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