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My horoscope for today, according to �My Yahoo�:
�Your thoughts may be scattered and frantic during the earlier part of the day, but things are likely to settle down for you as the evening sets in. Your emotions will be more stable, and you will be much more disciplined about tasks that need to be completed. Make a plan for the week ahead, and be practical about what you can accomplish. Don't set yourself up for failure by biting off more than you can chew.�
Well, okay then�
*****
I was late for work this morning. Usually, I turn the TV on to channel 56 when I get up so I can see the weather (I have a TV crush on the WB in the Morning local weatherman, Darin Adams). On days when I�m on time, I shut the TV off before WBITM is over. Days like today, Darin and co. are already gone, and Maury Povitch has taken over the screen.
Almost every time I see the beginning of Maury, his show is about one of the following three things:
1. �I�m a pregnant teen/teen bride and the father of my child, my boyfriend/husband is cheating, and I want to prove it, so we came on the show so he can take a lie detector test and be shown as a lying, cheating slime and I can cry about how wrong I was.�
2. �I�m a teen mother, and this paternity test Maury has paid for will prove to the man I�ve dragged on with me that he�s the father of my baby.�
3. �I�m the mother of a violent/promiscuous teen daughter and I�ve brought her here so that Maury can sic his �motivational speaker� buddy on her and change her evil ways.�
Every once in a while, there will be a different topic (�I was a total loser in high school, and now I look hot, so I�ve brought my biggest high school tormentor on Maury�s show so I can rub my boobs in his face and make him feel bad that he was mean to me 10 years ago�), but for the most part, the talk stays in one of those three areas.
Where do they find all their guests? I just don�t understand.
*****
I arrived home yesterday to find my front porch taken over by movie cameras and actors. Some friend of Sarah�s (my landlady) was using our house to film a movie. We found out on Monday that this was going to happen.
Sarah told us they would be starting around 9:00 in the morning and be done by 8:00 that night. Great. Whatever.
When I walked up, Sarah motioned for me to stop, and then said that I would have to wait until they finished their shot to get into the house. They paused their filming about five minutes later long enough to let me in, but hemmed and hawed about it like I was inconveniencing them by trying to get into my own apartment.
Twice in the next half-hour, Sarah knocked on our door to ask us to do something for the film crew.
I was hungry, tired and still sporting that hung over/washed out feeling as a result of Wednesday night�s festivities. I was not in the mood to play with the film crew. I, however, was at least polite. Chris has an inability to carry on a civil conversation these days.
We ignored them for most of the night. 8:00 came and went, but they were still outside, big bright lights making the night into day out there. Chris was ready to go out and make a scene. I repeatedly told him not to worry about it.
At 9:45, almost ready for bed, I went down to the basement to put my laundry in the dryer. I stuck my head out the side door, where the power cord for those bright lights was snaking out of the house.
One of the crew members was standing just beyond the door. She half-smiled when she saw me step up and walk toward her. Again, I was very polite. �Hi, I wondered if you could tell me when you�re planning on being done? Because your lights are shining right into my bedroom, and I really need to go to bed. It�s 10:00. And while I support your project, this isn�t a film set�it�s my house, and I need to go to sleep.�
She gave me a blank stare. �Uh, you�d need to talk to the guy in the hat up front.�
I stood there for another minute and watched, realizing there was no way to get past the people, cameras, lights and film crap littering the walkway to the street. I shook my head and went back in the house.
Chris stopped me on my way through the apartment. �Do you want me to take care of this?� I could see the short temper ready to blow. �No, Chris, I�m fine. Really.�
I walked out and opened the front door. All conversation stopped as 20 heads turned my way.
�Hi. It�s 10:00. Your lights are shining right into my bedroom, where I need to go to sleep now, so I need you to be done.�
I got the same blank stare from 20 pairs of eyes. The man in the hat, the director, I guess, finally spoke. �We�re just about done. Really.�
�How �just about?� I wasn�t moving.
�Five minutes. Honest. Really. We just want to get one more shot.�
I stood and stared at him for a minute, then turned without speaking. He yelled just before I shut the door. �Hey�could I ask a favor of you?�
I stopped and stuck my head back outside. �Quickly you can��
�Uh, can you turn the light inside that window back on? Five minutes�I promise.�
I went back in, checked my clock and turned on the light.
Chris and I chatted as I brushed my teeth, washed my face, poured a glass of water.
11 minutes later, I walked back into my bedroom and shut the light off. The noise outside stopped suddenly, then resumed. Three minutes later, the lights went off.
They didn�t finish packing up all their equipment (not a quiet process, by the way) for another half hour.
Oh, my landlady and I are going to talk tonight.
*****
The good news, I guess, is that I feel much less crappy today, despite the Hollywood saga taking place outside my door.
Just another day in the life.
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