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As I mentioned earlier today, November 13, 2001 marks my diary�s first birthday. Wow. A whole year of my life, chronicled up on the World Wide Web for anyone to stumble across. I thought for sure when I started this that someone I knew would do just that by now, that I�d have to face the day where Someone I Didn�t Want Reading This would sit me down and say, �So, Jennifer, I was playing around online the other night, and I found your diary.�
Hasn�t happened. This is a good thing.
It�s been quite a year. I sat and read through my archives the other day, thinking about all the things I�ve shared, the places in my head I�ve taken you, the skeletons I�ve shown the light of day. I�ve faced down matriarchal death, murder, rape, abortion, indecision, stupid boyfriends, unfriendly scales, job woes and wedding stress. I�ve rejoiced about happy occasions�proposals, pregnancies, visits with friends, good ice cream flavors, good hair days. I�ve cried along with whoever�s read my words. I�ve met some wonderful writers. I�ve made some new friends. I�ve worked toward finding a voice.
Go me!
I wondered, as this day approached, if I would feel like something was complete upon reaching the year mark, if I�d feel like I�d done enough, if I�d decide, like Carol did with the Restless Nights journal, to stop here.
I don�t feel that way.
Instead, I want to make it to another year mark. As long as Andrew keeps up the site, I�ll stick around. At least until after the wedding.
Thanks, everyone, for being here with me through the past 12 months. Knowing that you�re out there keeps me writing, and writing is good. I�m glad I have you all in my life, even if it�s my cyberlife.
So�
Anyway�
Let me finish my cake (hey, it�s a birthday party!) and get on with today�s entry�
So yeah�
My weekend�
We didn�t play Skee-ball. We were too tired. We went to breakfast at my favorite breakfast place (well, my favorite now. It used to be my second-favorite, but then the one I loved best burned to the ground in a questionably mob-related fire). Mmmm�.Scrambled eggs with ham and cheese in potato skins, served with wheat toast and baked beans. Yummy!
I digress�
It was good. We had a chance to just sit and talk for the first time in ages. I explained to him the Theory of Why He Gets the Angry, Ill-Tempered Jennifer. He was happy to hear that I hadn�t just decided not to marry him.
We talked about his mom a lot, too.
She wants him to take over the real estate company.
He�s considering it.
I first tried to impress on him the fact that no matter how much she �pulls out� of the company and leaves him �in charge,� it will always be her company, the one she started from scratch, the one that she named, and the one she will never let go of. No chance.
He didn�t follow.
I pointed out that she�s been doing this for over 30 years, and he�s never conducted a real estate transaction in his life, and that she�d teach him, and will always know more than he does, and will continue forever to tell him how to do the job, not meanly or intentionally, but because she�s his mom and she�ll want to �help,� and this will drive him insane.
He didn�t see the problem.
I mentioned that him working for her is very different from Joe Off the Street working for her, because she will always be his mother, and it will blur the role she has in his life.
He said, �So?�
Finally, I said, �Okay. Don�t take this the wrong way, because I like your mom. But she likes to be in charge, and she takes whatever she can get from her relationship with you. And if she�s your boss, and you�re working for her, the lines between your work life and your personal life will be very elastic, and that will be bad for us. It will hurt our relationship. You know your mom has boundary issues�we�ve talked about it before. Your working for her will make our life her life, too, and I can�t live like that.�
He said, �Oh. Yeah. I can see that.�
He still met with her on Sunday to talk about it. She must have given him a really hard sell. He hasn�t told me the details of his conversation with her, except to say that he said he�d think about it and get back to her in a week.
I swear, if he goes to work for her, I would second-guess my decision to marry him.
I�m not sure I could live with that much Betsy in my life.
And I don�t know how to make him understand that without tearing him in half.
I don�t want to make her my enemy. That would be generally unwise.
But, Jesus�his working for her would send me over the edge.
It�s all about control. And she�s got to be in the driver�s seat. But damn it, this will be MY LIFE. And that�s not what I want for my life�
Anyway�
So, yeah.
My weekend.
We went from breakfast to Target, where we attempted to register. I say �attempted� because we got the scan gun, but no instructions, so within the first 10 minutes, we registered for two dustbusters, four electronic meat forks and 22 electric fry pans. If you�re coming to the wedding, please don�t buy us 22 electric fry pans. I don�t fry nearly that many things.
Once we finally got the gun instructions straight, we were okay. The Boyfriend is dangerous with that thing. He added anything that remotely caught his eye. �Honey, I don�t think anyone is going to buy us the hundred and seventy dollar under-the-counter spacemaker CD player!� Not that we even need a hundred and seventy dollar under-the-counter spacemaker CD player, but I digress�
From Target we drove to the Providence Place Mall, where we poked around for several hours. Every time we�ve set foot in the mall, I�ve hurried him through, as we�ve always been on our way to somewhere else. Not Saturday�I just let him look and shop. We ended up in Crate & Barrel, where we registered some more (though I wouldn�t let him put the four hundred dollar set of All Clad pans on the list�who the hell is going to buy us a set of four hundred dollar pans?! Besides which, I�d be afraid to cook in them! I might ruin them!). We would have finished registering in Bed, Bath and Beyond, but their computers were down so their scan gun things didn�t work. Too bad. The Boyfriend pouted at that a little bit.
We finished our mall adventure by having dinner in Hops, where he�d been before and raved about the food. Not sure I would do the same, but it was his choice, and he enjoyed his dinner, and that made me happy. Mostly, it was just good to be sitting down at that point. And the salad was good�with potato sticks on top!
I think we were asleep by 10:00. All that picking out gifts makes you hungry!
Sunday morning, we went to church with his dad. Twice a year, they purchase the altar flowers in memory of his grandparents, and twice a year, his dad asks us to go to church. Twice a year, we get the hard-sell recruit from the members of the congregation who see us in the coffee hour and think, �hey�fresh meat!!� This time, we got it from the minister, too.
Funny part is, I�m thinking about going back, with or without the boyfriend. I realized partway through the service that I really miss going to church.
Ugh�work stress appears on the horizon. I knew it had been quiet in here for too long!
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