I am not a child abuser, no matter what the local police may think
February 18, 2005 - 3:44 p.m.

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Last night, Will and I were sitting on the couch. He was, as usual, playing with an inappropriate device--this time it was the telephone. He's developing his father's love for the phone. Every time he sees one, he points at it and says, "hi hi hi hi hi hi hi!" It's apparently a lot of fun. He especially loves to press buttons on the phone. Sometimes he gets fun noises to come out. Twice, it's been a hello--once when he called his aunt and once when he called the doctor my mom works for on the back office line. He thought that was great.

Last night, he was sitting and pressing away. Twice, he managed to turn the phone on speaker, but I shut it off before he got anywhere. Then I looked as he was holding down the 2 to see that the little screen was lit up and said something more than 222228878768899999999, which is what he usually manages to get up there.

"Canton, Town of" is what I saw. I took the phone from Will and hit the flash button, wondering who would be calling us from the town. "Hello?"

I didn't expect what I got back.

"Hi, this is the Canton police calling. We received a 911 call from this residence."

Will reached for the phone. "Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi!"

I explained to the very nice officer on the other end that my 15-month old had somehow managed to push just the right combination of buttons to call 911, and that there was, in fact, no sort of emergency situation. he verified our last name and hung up. I'm not sure he was amused.

My mom gave me a hard time about it later. "I can't believe they didn't come and investigate! What if you'd been hurting Will and he'd called to turn you in?! "

I asked, "What would he say to them, Mom? 'hi hi hi hi hi hi hi nana nana nana nana apUNGH uh oh?' They'd thing his grandmother got high eating apples."

Yep. He sure keeps me on my toes.

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