Sponsor me in the 2005 MS Walk! Why? Read here.
Nope. Not dead. Just among the missing.
I'm not even sure how long it's been since I've added an entry. A month, maybe? Long enough that I've gotten a couple emails, looking to see if everything is okay.
It is. Mostly. I mean--everybody's healthy, we all have a roof over our heads, and to the best of my knowledge no one out there is walking around hating me. And through it all, BabyStar just keeps kicking away. That part is good. Very, very good. Worth the 25 pounds I've gained rightupfront, knocking my center of gravity off and making me clumsy as hell. My most entertaining moments these days come from watching my belly change shape. Not sure what that says about me.
So...What have I been doing, then, for the past month or so?
Packing. Attempting to sell my mom's house (it' s listed on Isoldmyhouse.com, if anyone is looking for a four-bedroom victorian colonial in the Massachusetts 95-south loop). Arguing with the Husband about what's happening with the Condo. Attending the home inspection on the New House and discovering that we need a new roof and all new moulding downstairs to rid us of lead paint. Packing. Going to the doctor for now every-two-week checkups, all of which have been fine, except for the ridiculously overwhelming feminine itching problem I've developed. I'm looking more like a ballplayer every day! Fumbling around my desk. Attending a Red Sox game. Celebrating the culmination of our first year of marriage. Gaining weight at a hair-raisingly increasing rate (five pounds in the last two weeks, my friends). Discovering that probably half of that is from the fact that my iron pills have made me severely constipated. Packing. Celebrating my 33rd birthday. Learning that the Husband will no longer have a job as of November 1. Packing some more...
Yes, you read that right. He went into work on Wednesday, the same day I was at the doctor's, trying to learn the cause of my feminine itching problem and being relieved that while she can't yet tell me what it IS, she can tell me that it isn't leaking amniotic fluid, which would have immediately put me on bedrest. Halfway through the day, the Evil Deb called him into her office, where he was surprised to find a member of the HR staff with a written warning in her hand.
I don't know if I've mentioned his work troubles in here before (perhaps not, since lately it's been all about me me me, when I've written at all), but for the past couple months, he's been having serious issues with both his boss and his boss's boss. The Evil Deb (his boss) has never been a manager before, and seems to think that the correct way to manage her staff (which consists of just the Husband) is by pinning the blame for everything that goes wrong on him and reporting it immediately to the Evil Carl. Twice before this, the two of them have called him into meetings where they've unloaded huge piles of badness on him without giving him a chance to respond. Then, they'll continue like nothing ever happened until the next surprise meeting where it all gets thrown at him again. It hasn't been fun.
Now, before I make the Husband blameless in all of this, there have been occasions where he could have improved things greatly by growing a pair and taking some initiative, but since he is the biggest conflict avoider EVER, he's instead taken the "if I pretend it's not there long enough, it will just go away" route, which doesn't work very well in corporate America, and especially not at the major-investment-company-that-begins-with-an-F where he works until November 1.
Anyway, back to Wednesday...
The HR woman, with Evil Deb lurking behind her, gives the Husband a choice: he can either accept the written warning and have it go in his up-until-now-seven-year-spotless record with the company, or he can accept their offer of 60 days in the department at a "reduced" workload (supplying him with the time to look for a new job using their resources and without penalization for taking time off to interview) with the understanding that November 1 will be his last day in the department whether he's found a new job or not.
He took the latter. I don't blame him. With the written warning in his file, his chances of getting another job in house become zero, and his reference is worthless.
Mind you, November 1 is a Saturday. This makes his last day of work Friday, Oct 31. Halloween. Also MY last day of work before I go out on maternity leave, seven days before BabyStar's due date. It's also the drop-dead date on our purchase and sale, the day we're tenatively scheduled to close on the New House, the one with the mortgage that's SEVENTY THOUSAND dollars larger than the one we have right now.
Thanks, Evil Deb. Your sense of timing is immaculate.
Of course, the Husband sees this as an opportunity to explore what he really wants to do with his life. I'm the evil reality check. You know, the voice that says, "dude, I'm thrilled that you think plumbing is a better career choice than the one you made seven years ago, but do you really think NOW is the right time to enter an apprentice program?!" Or, "Whoah there, cowboy--new baby, new house--not a stellar time to start a new business."
I hate to rain on his parade, but I need him to suck it up right now and find a new job. It doesn't need to be a forever job, but it needs to be a keep-my-family-from-losing-everything-and-having-to-live-in-a-box job. Even if it's not what he REALLY wants to do with his life.
This is what I meant when I told him that marriage isn't always easy, and that thinking about more than yourself means you make different decisions than your single self would have made.
Being a grownup sucks. But it's not really an option.
I'm trying really hard not to be too stressed about any of this, but it's hard. The idea of bringing a newborn into such an insecure world terrifies me. And it really challenges my "everything happens for a reason" belief system.
Deep, cleansing yoga breaths, Jennifer.
It will be okay, won't it?
---------------------------------------------
Something to say about this entry?
Add your comments here (3 people have spoken already)
< Exit Berger, Hello Will | - >
