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So I sent this email to my friends the other day:
Hey all--
I know you probably thought this was going to be a joke, or a photo, or some kind of forward, but it isn't.
A few years ago, Cronin, Erica and I had Thanksgiving in the apartment--a chance to get together with some of the people we cared most about and share a meal and some time. We were lucky enough to have some of you join us then. Despite Bob's questionable timing with the potatoes, we had a really good day.
This year is going to be a difficult Thanksgiving for me family-wise. Since my grandmother died earlier this year, it will be our first non-Beverly Thanksgiving, not just in my lifetime, but in my mom's lifetime, too. She's decided to just sort-of opt out this year, and Thursday the 22nd we'll be together, just the two of us, doing something very non-traditional.
That didn't, however, fill my need to celebrate what has always been my favorite holiday.
As such, I'd like to invite you all to join me for an early Thanksgiving celebration on Sunday, November 18. Despite the losses that this year has held for me, I've gained some wonderful things as well, and have a lot to be thankful for, including all of you, and I'd like to be able to remember that and celebrate it appropriately!
I ask that anyone who comes bring something to add to the table, as it's a time of sharing as much as anything else.
Love to you all,
Jennifer
I�ve gotten a good response so far. I believe I�ll get to celebrate Thanksgiving this year after all.
But this is not what I came in here to write about.
No, that would be this:
Today, I got an email from the Boyfriend. It was a reply to the message above that said, �Hey, just a random thought�Can I forward this to Kirk and Joe?�
Kirk and Joe are two of his friends. They will be co-best-men in our wedding. I like both of them.
When I wrote the email the other day, I paused while adding names to the �TO� column from my address book and questioned whether to add those two to the invitation list, along with Jack, the Boyfriend�s other friend who will also be in the wedding, and whom I also like.
I didn�t send it to them. I decided against it. And here�s why�
One, the apartment is not huge. I�ve already sent the invitation to a large number of people. That would have added at least three, probably five, possibly more people to the mix.
Two, the Boyfriend�s friends, while very nice people, are not great mixers. I invite them to parties. They come and spend most of the night standing in a little group together, getting drunk in my kitchen. This is not going to be that kind of event.
Three, this is something I�m doing for me. Not for us�for me. And with the exception of Jack, his friends, if asked who I was, would describe me as �my friend�s fianc�e.� Not �my friend Jennifer,� but �the girl who is marrying our friend.�
And just as I like them, I know it isn�t that they don�t like me. But our friendship is by association.
And maybe I�m being selfish. Maybe inviting them would be a good show of faith, a step in making that answer be different, in making our friendship a real and viable relationship.
Maybe I should just email the Boyfriend back and say, �Sure�go ahead! Invite whoever you want!�
But I haven�t.
And I�m not sure I�m going to, either.
What would you do if you were me? I really want to know.
I�m off in about half an hour, headed to Ipswich for catering meeting number two. Hope it goes better than the last one. Tell me, you married readers�when did you get to taste your caterer�s food? Did you do it before you signed the contract? �Cause it seems to make sense to me that if you want someone to give you sixteen thousand dollars for catering their wedding, they�re going to want to know for sure that they like the food they�re paying for first! The last caterer offered us nothing to taste. I don�t know yet about this one. Maybe that�s normal. But it just doesn�t make sense to me.
Offer up your opinions. I need some guidance�
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