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It�s snowing in Boston! Looks like we�re going to have an actual white Christmas. Not sure why this makes me happy�I still have to clean my car off and drive all over the place in it, but it just feels right for it to be all snowy out right now.
I�ve crossed over into serious Christmas mode anyway, though. Came into work with my Santa hat that says "Jennifer" in glitter across the white brim, carrying my medium market basket (have I mentioned my Longaberger obsession yet?) full of gifts. Cookies for the coworkers, a hat for my boss, an office yoga book for my other boss, a handmade snowman for my partner-in-crime around the office.
Mr. M, my boss, already called his wife to tell her about his gift. He coaches three different rec. league basketball teams (two of his three daughters play), and it�s one of the only things he talks about other than work. I had a baseball hat made for him, maroon �cause that�s one of his team�s colors, with the word "Coach" embroidered on the front and his last name on the back. It seemed like a better gift than golf balls (which I gave him two years ago) or beer (which I gave him last year).
I hope he likes it, anyway, because getting it was a pain in the ass. I had it made at one of those pushcart kiosks at the Prudential Center. I waited half an hour to order it, while the hat staff waited on three people who came up after me. I finally placed my order and they told me it would be two hours before the hat was ready for pickup. Great�whatever�I had other shopping to do.
I wandered through the Pru for about an hour and a half. Actually found a gift for my friend Jim, who is difficult to shop for because he buys everything he wants. The Warner Brothers store happily sold me a Tweety teapot that will look perfect in his kitchen. One less person for me to panic about. I bought some stocking stuff for my mom, Chris and the Boyfriend. I looked in a couple of the clothing stores and considered what to spend my bonus on. Finally, I sat for a half-hour, ate some chicken and rice from the Japanese fast food stand, then headed back to the hat place.
My hat was on the embroidery machine, just finishing as I approached. It still took 20 minutes for me to pick it up. By that point, I was pissed. I didn�t want to be the stereotypical disgruntled holiday shopper, but it was tough to hold my tongue. In the end, I managed to just take my hat and get out, although I think I pretty much grabbed it and stormed away. The point wasn�t lost. But I don�t think they cared.
I guess the important thing is that Mr. M likes his present.
*****
I was up until 1:30 this morning, wrapping all my Christmas presents. The tree looked so pretty this morning with all the red and silver packages under it. I hate to give them away. Feeling pretty good about my shopping this year, though. When I�m not feeling so tired I want to curl up under my desk, that is�
*****
My mom is at my grandmother�s house today, as she is every Friday. Today, she has to take Nana to her second radiation appointment.
Nan�s pretty angry about the whole radiation thing. She was okay with the chemo, but she�s really mad that they�ve decided this is the best way to go. I think if she�d been presented with any other option, other than to let the cancer run its course, she would have taken it.
It�s so sad, really. The chemo stopped the tumor from getting bigger, but it didn�t seem to shrink it any. If the radiation doesn�t work, I�m not sure she has any other avenues left.
Makes me realize how really unfair life can be.
My uncle is bringing Nana down to our house on Christmas Eve day. She�ll stay with us that night, and then my mom and I will bring her home on Monday afternoon. We didn�t think her waking up alone on Christmas morning in the house my grandfather built was a very good idea. Some small voice in my head keeps telling me this could be the last Christmas I have with her. I�ve told that voice to shut the fuck up.
*****
I�ll be without computer access all weekend, so this may be my last entry until Tuesday.
I hope Santa is good to all you Diarylanders out there. And Happy Hanukah, too�
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your hearts be light
From now on our troubles will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the yuletides gay
From now on our troubles will be miles away
Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us gather near to us once more
Through the years we all will be together if the fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now�
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