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Hey, is anyone else having trouble accessing their notify list page? I haven�t been able to get into mine for several days. I�m guessing it�s an overall problem, since I don�t think I�ve gotten notification that anyone else has updated, but I�m not sure�
Anyway, I�m feeling like the Biggest Dork in the World today�I managed to come to work without my wallet. I saw it sitting on my floor, too, and still walked out the door without it. Oh well. I�m sure I�ll survive.
I met Tricia and Hannah for drinks and dinner at Bukowski�s last night. I�d never been in there before, but I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. Our very friendly bartender carded me without sounding stupid, and then confirmed that they had four different flavors of lambic (I got raspberry--yummy!) at the bar. Once we managed to get a table, we ordered food that turned out to be really good. Real mashed potatoes, too! And I always have a good time with the two of them. Our conversations make me laugh. I need more of that! And neither of them drinks scotch neat.
It�s funny. I�ve been such a hibernator all winter that it was nice to go out and actually do something last night. I was still home by 9:00, but it felt good to be social, to leave my house, to talk to someone other than the four people who parade through my day-to-day life. As we were leaving, Tricia said it had been too long since our last girl outing, and that we should do it again soon. I wholeheartedly agree.
Of course, tonight, I�m going out again, this time to meet my friend Ilana and go see Save the Last Dance. I know it�s going to be a cheesy movie. I don�t care. I need a little light cheesy fun in my life.
The Boyfriend is talking to his mortgage broker and preparing to put the condo on the market very soon. He wants to sell it now, while the values are still way up, and buy a real house. Of course, he wants to buy a house with room for me that I�m happy about the prospect of living in. And I want those things to happen. I�m excited at the prospect of starting the next phase of my life, the phase where home for him and home for me are in the same place. I�m a little afraid, though, of losing the �me� in the �us.� That doesn�t happen now, but once we�re in the same place, I see where it could, and I know that keeping it from happening is an effort. I�ve lost the �me� in my life before. It really sucks. And now suddenly I�m feeling the potential for that here. I don�t want less of him in my life. I just also don�t want less of myself.
He got a call from one of his college friends last week, and mentioned that Brian was having a get-together we�d been invited to. He couldn�t remember the date, but thought it was sometime in April. Yesterday, he called me and said, �You know how we thought Sunday was going to be quiet for us? Well, I talked to Brian again and that party he�s having is this weekend. Since you�d said there was nothing going on, I told him we�d be there.�
I somehow lost my ability to plan my own Sunday. And I�m not comfortable with that. I like Brian-the-friend-from-college, but I had something else I wanted to do that day. And it bothers me that he made that call and told Brian we�d be there without even talking to me first.
So I�m making a pledge to myself to not become one of those people who always answers a question about myself with a �we.�
And another pledge to keep some things that are just for me.
I don�t think that�s so much to ask, do you?
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