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I�m having one of those days. You know, those days? The kind where nothing goes specifically wrong, but you feel like you should have stayed in bed anyway? One of those days.
I was running late this morning. Couldn�t find my boots. Sure, I could�ve worn a different pair of shoes, but I wanted to wear my boots! They�re a deep burgundy, almost black pair of Fluevogs, knee-high with zippers up the inside and big, substantial heels. I bought them while I was angry with the Artboy, and he always referred to them as the �Don�t Fuck With Jennifer Boots�. That pretty much sums it up. I feel different when I have them on. Stronger, somehow. And it wasn�t that I was doing anything today that required a little extra backbone, but I really wanted to wear them regardless. They match the rest of my outfit (the only one out of 8 that I put on and felt comfortable in this morning) better than any other pair of shoes I own.
It�s not that my apartment is so huge I could lose a pair of knee-high boots in it. That was the annoying part�there aren�t many places for them to go. Finally, I remembered. They were in the car. Damn boots. Those zippers get cold!
Erica, Heather and I met for dinner last night to talk about the Chris Situation and decide on a plan of action. They both agree that my ultimatum��get some help or find a new place to live��is both appropriate and potentially necessary. It wasn�t a real happy dinner, I have to say. The food all seemed fairly tasteless when coupled with the conversation. We decided to sit down and talk to him on Sunday. Not sure how I�m going to make it from now until then. They can just avoid calling him. I have to go home sometime�
I�ve faced the very real possibility that this conversation could end my friendship with Chris. He may be so taken aback by it all that he completely withdraws. Although I don�t want that to happen, I�m willing to take that risk. Better to lose him as a friend than to sit back and watch him devolve. I think.
I really, really hate this.
After dinner, I went into the mall in search of a birthday present for the Boyfriend. My original idea didn�t work out. Not this year, anyway. Maybe next year. Instead, I ended up buying him a huge cast-iron frying pan (something he�s decided he needs to own. I don�t understand it, either), a set of Chinese lantern lights, new boxer shorts, a bunch of Origins stuff�his favorite shampoo that he never buys because it�s so expensive, a couple of their lavender/chamomile sleep aids because he�s having sleep issues. It�s not nearly as inspired gift as the first idea I had, but he�ll like everything I bought, I think.
While I was in the mall, I stopped at Victoria�s Secret. Last night, I did something I�ve never done before, in all my 30 years. I bought something in there other than a bra or underpants. Something little and frilly and lacy and black, which I bought not because I thought it would be comfortable, or because it was a bra that would fit under a bridesmaid�s dress. I bought it simply because I thought the Boyfriend would like it.
I�ve always had issue with that. I�ve always dressed for myself, not for anyone else, in clothes I liked and bought with only me in mind. Sometimes, I�ve liked them because I feel attractive in them. Sometimes I�ve liked them because they�re like wearing jammies out of the house (Microsoft Word keeps wanting to changed �jammies� to �jimmies��not quite what I meant!). But this particular �outfit� (and I use that term very loosely) was all him.
A first time for everything, I guess.
Tonight, I get to go home to an empty house. Chris has to work late. He won�t get in until about 8:00. How nice. I might even get to take that bath, finally, although I�m not counting on it!
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