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Okay, somehow it�s 4:15. I have no idea how that happened. This day has just disappeared!
Actually, the whole weekend went that way. I�m not sure how it got to be Monday.
Friday, the Boyfriend and I went for Thai food. If you�re in Boston and you like Thai, you should go to the Brown Sugar Caf�. Yummy food, fast and polite service, inexpensive menu. What more can I say?
Afterwards, we walked through the city, enjoying the nice weather and blossoms on the trees. He asked me again if I felt ready to talk wedding specifics. No more �so next summer, we�ll do something,� but more like where and with what people standing there next to us and who we�d invite and what they�d eat and all sorts of details like that.
Again, I�m amazed at any of this becoming a reality in my life.
So we walked down Newbury Street and he pointed out wedding dresses in the windows (none of which I can afford, by the way, unless I find an extra 10 grand sitting around somewhere labeled �for Jennifer to use for a wedding dress only�), and by the time we got back to my house, I was silly-giddy.
We walked in the door to the apartment, and Chris was in the bathroom. I called out a hello to him and got a grumble back. A few minutes later, he stood outside my door and called into my bedroom, �I�mfeelingcrappysoI�mgoingtobednowgoodnight.� That was it.
Whatever, Chris. Take your drunken self to bed. Even you can�t spoil my mood.
Saturday, I had a Longaberger party at my mom�s house. Carla, Erica, my cousin Susie, my friend Ann from work, my mom and I sat in the living room, ate coffee cake and quiche, drank tea and orange juice and played with baskets. I still have to choose my free stuff�the best part of a Longaberger party. Well, not the best part. The best part was getting a chance to visit with everyone in a relaxed setting, no kids, no boys, lots of food�what more could I ask?! It was rejuvenating.
See, I was going to say it was nice, but it was really more than nice. Nice doesn�t really cover it.
Susie was telling Mom and me that her daughter asked for pictures of Nana to put in her photo album. She was saying how Delenn will never forget Nana, how even though she�s so young now, Nana and she had bonded and she was so glad.
After she left, Mom and I sat in the kitchen and cried at the fact that my children will never know their great grandmother. What a loss for them.
We cried for a long time, Mom and I. It was good for us, though, I think. Sometimes, you just need that. And we hadn�t been able to do that together, just the two of us, since Nana died. Nana�s only daughter and her only daughter�s daughter. We made a good team. Now, somehow, the two of us have to carry on and fill the space of three. Some days it�s really hard. And some days, we need to cry about it. The Boyfriend kept trying to make me feel better. I try to explain to him that there�s nothing he can do to make it feel better, but that it�s okay. He doesn�t need to make the hurt go away. The hurt is there because the love is there, and I�d rather have both than neither.
So we cried. And then we got up and washed our faces and got on with our lives. Just like Nana would want us to do.
Went to see Along Came a Spider Saturday night. I don�t love suspense thrillers (wasn�t my movie choice), but it wasn�t bad. I like Morgan Freeman.
Yesterday I had a bridal shower to go to. It turned out to be very�nice. (See, here, nice is the right word). Heidi, the bride, seems very happy. I wish her and her soon-to-be-husband all the best. I could say more, but I won�t.
It just served to bring forth more wedding conversation.
We�re talking about maybe having the wedding (that one I�m not quite planning yet with that man I�m not officially engaged to) here. Maybe. I�ve always wanted a barbecue wedding reception. The Boyfriend suggested the barn idea, so I found this place. It has a gorgeous view of a working apple orchard out the back doors and is all rustic inside. If I close my eyes, I can see it all decorated with twinkly white lights and red plaid-covered picnic tables, with daisies and black-eyed susans in the centerpieces. Not everyone�s idea of a perfect wedding, perhaps�it certainly won�t be fancy. But it will be exactly what we want it to be. And it will fit all 250 of our family and closest friends.
Heh. I�m looking at reception sites. This whole process is just going to nurture my inner girlie-girl. This could be dangerous.
Next thing you know, I�m going to be dressing my bridesmaids in fluffy pink dresses. (Just kidding, Carla�no fluffy pink involved! It would clash with the picnic tables!)
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