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Carla called me at work today. Carla never calls me at work.
She called to tell me that a mutual�friend? Acquaintance? I don�t even know what to call her. A girl we�ve known since elementary school, whose parents are friends with our parents and were at both of our weddings, whom we were in Sunday school and girl scouts with through our childhood, but whom we hadn�t actively been friends with for years�whatever you would call a person like that. Regardless, she has been ill for many years, diagnosed with schizophrenia several years ago, and I guess on the hospitalized-medicated-fine-released-nonmedicated-bad-hospitalized circuit for a while, which I gather is common in schizophrenic patients. Things have not been good.
While details are still not clear, the end result is the same. She apparently chose to take her own life last night.
This is a tough one. The reaction is mixed, part horror, part sadness, part relief, part guilt. The relief part leads to the guilt part.
I want to tell my mom, but her phone isn�t working. There�s a problem with the wiring, and it occasionally decides not to work. It hasn�t had a dial tone since some time yesterday.
Trying really, really hard to get back into a party mode before tonight.
Sometimes, the good attitude is just really hard to maintain.
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