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Okay. So I stressed about this all night.
Yelnad, you were right, to a point. The people in the wedding party who have significant others that have been a part of their lives for a long time�of course I counted them in! This one, though�this one is really under my skin. I�ve never MET this girl. He�s made no attempt to INTRODUCE us to this girl. I don�t even know her NAME. It bothers me that I�m somehow expected, then, to include her, when I took my GODMOTHER off and put her on the �B� list.
So this afternoon, after much discussion with Carla, and the Boyfriend, and my mom, I sent both Koach and the Boyfriend the following email:
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Hi Koach--
I'm sending you this email because Kirk and I have been talking a lot about the wedding, and there's something that's been weighing on my mind a lot. I don't want you to read it and get upset--that couldn't be further from what we want. You and [the Boyfriend] have been friends for a long time, and I feel like you've become my friend too over the past four years, and we're both very glad that you'll be a part of our wedding day. It really means a lot to know that you'll be standing up with us as we do this!
So...
We've hit guest list crunch time, though, and it's causing me a huge amount of stress. Fire laws hold that we can only have 250 people in the barn. When we sat down and made our list, there were over 280 people on it. And while statistics say that about 30% of people RSVP no, we can't send out invitations expecting that will happen--we could end up, by some miracle, with everyone saying yes and 30 people with no place to sit.
I know that you and your new girlfriend have gotten very serious in a short amount of time (I'm sorry--I'm not sure of her name--is it Reenie?), and I'm sure you want to have her there with you. When we made the original list, though, you hadn't even met her, so we didn't count her in that number. As we try to get the count down to a manageable place, we can't add her in yet.
In all likelyhood, we'll end up with enough people who say no that we can work around that and have a place for her at your table, but I wanted to talk to you about it first, as the invitation will come to you alone.
I'm sorry, Koach. I feel extraordinarily akward about even writing this to you, but like I said, we wanted to address it now to try and minimize the uncomfortability of the situation. I don't want you to think that it's out of disrespect for you, or for the woman you've met, or for your relationship. Truly, it's not. And I don't want you to think this is me being a pushy bitch and making this decision for [the Boyfriend], because that's not true, either. It's just a question of space.
Perhaps, some time soon, the three of us can sit down and talk about this. I'd also really like to meet this woman of yours--it sounds like she's sticking around :)
Let us know what works for you, time-wise.
Thanks,
Jennifer (and [the Boyfriend], too)
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If that makes me a horrible bride, then�so be it. I feel better.
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