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I�m feeling much less insane now.
Donna and I met. After yesterday, with still no word from either of them, I finally sent them both an email, very politely requesting that we meet and discuss. I did not come clean about having already read it. Today, she called me into her office at 1:30. The review was in a folder on her desk, which she continually gestured to as we talked.
�Jennifer, we feel your performance needs improvement. We feel you have the ability to perform the job to our expectations. We expect a more positive, �can do� demeanor and more effective follow through. We feel we could entrust you to do more, but feel that our requests create a burden and we often have to follow up a few times to ensure the work gets done.�
We talked for almost half an hour about the fact that I hadn�t received a review, or any real feedback at all, in over two years. She acknowledged that this was really unacceptable, and discussed the changes that have taken place in the department over those two years. She said that it wasn�t a glowing review, but that truly she and Steve were as much to blame for that as I was, since it was unreasonable to expect someone to be able to improve on an issue that hadn�t been presented to them, and she apologized for the lack of feedback that I�ve received thus far, then went on to pledge to do better from here forward.
�Jennifer, we feel you are a very capable member of our team. You have excellent computer skills and most often learn new things quickly. Your customer service and follow-up are the areas that need improvement. We have feedback from managers within and outside the department that you are unapproachable and at times entitled. Tadiologists do not perceive you as a helpful part of the administrative team. We feel like you are quite capable to perform the job but you seem not to feel that our requests are a priority. Your admin function is to support us (the directors of the department) and to assist us in any way that helps us to be more productive and effective.�
She also talked about the fact that on several different occasions, she has directed negative feedback that she�s received about my interactions with other people in the department to Steve, who has been uncomfortable with discussing these things with me due to the nature of our relationship (he and I have known each other since I was 15, and our families are very close friends and neighbors). I confirmed for her that he�s never said anything to me at all, about anything performance-related.
�Timely response to requests and attention to follow-up: we feel we have to remember things we request because we do not have confidence that you will carry it through. Examples: Requests to set up meetings, order supplies or process paperwork. We have feedback from managers within the department and outside the department that you have not been responsive. Accommodating demeanor: We often feel that it is a struggle for you to assist us. Our expectation is that you should be offering to assist in the transaction and needs of radiology administration. Goals: Answer the phone and don�t let it go to voicemail. Respond timely to requests. Follow up on outstanding requests. Respond in an accommodating way to requests. You need to follow through with other departments on issues and not just assume that things we request will be done in a timely manner without follow up.�
Donna went on to say that she thinks I am an asset to the department in many ways. She appreciates the fact that she can give me new projects with very little instruction, and get them back with both the information she requested and my �own twist� that improves upon that and makes her look better. She also said that in the past couple months, in realizing that Steve was never going to effectively work with me to improve the things I didn�t know were problems, she has addressed several things with me that she thought needed improvement, and has seen me work out ways to improve them and eliminate the problem. Again, she apologized for not having made this happen before.
She and I are going to meet again on Monday. Thursday, the three of us will sit down and discuss again.
I�m a little less angry than I was before, but I still don�t think a �gee, sorry� and a �I think you�re generally really wonderful� erases the lack of communication over the past two and a half years.
I also don�t understand the whole �you�re my friend, so I�m not comfortable telling you something bad� thing. I would think that as my friend, you would be more likely to want to talk to me about something like that, that you would WANT me to succeed, that you would have a vested interest in HELPING me succeed. That really needs to be addressed.
And then, there�s the question of what this does to my merit increase. Am I still getting one? Are they going to deny me that 3% because they fucked up?
All of this has given me a headache. I think I�m going home.
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