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Good God, but life gets ahead of me sometimes. This week, for instance.
I�m still not sure how it got to be Thursday afternoon. This day-off-in-the-middle-of-the-week thing is really messing up my head. I came back on Wednesday, thinking it was Monday, and am in no way ready for Friday yet. I need to find a new rhythm to my weeks, and I�m just not yet there. So it goes. I�m sure I�ll figure it out. Probably just in time for Donna to decide I HAVE to go back to five days�
The commute still sucks, but at least it�s becoming normal. It doesn�t feel as long, now that I�ve done it a few times. And yesterday, I stopped at the grocery store for some dinner and found that the plaza also holds a Home Goods and a T J Maxx, which was a nice discovery. Yay shopping opportunity!
I found myself today understanding yet again why my mom wanted me to marry an orphan. Not that I wish death on my mother-in-law. Just distance. Or even just some sanity. Or maturity. Even just a little.
Saturday morning, while waiting in line at Jiffy Lube, we got a call on the Husband�s cell phone. It was Betsy, on the verge of hysteria. She and Amy had a big fight, and Amy threatened to kill herself and was now in her bedroom and wouldn�t let Betsy in, and she�d already called Jim (the Husband�s dad) but could we come down?
I should have taken the phone. He�s useless in situations like that. It was like the time that Cronin took the call about Melissa being missing and didn�t ask any questions. It was just, �Melissa�s missing. If you hear from her, tell her to call home.� By that point, she�d been dead for a day.
Not that this was like that in any way except that the Husband took just what Betsy gave him and hung up, but it was equally as frustrating.
So�
Once the Jeep had been refilled with new oil, we headed to Marshfield, where we found Betsy in the kitchen, looking like a dishrag. Amy was upstairs on the floor in the two-foot space between her bed and the wall, crying uncontrollably, and had been like that for almost an hour. Jim was crouched down next to her, trying to get her to talk to him.
We got a little of the story. Amy has a boyfriend, Chris, that Betsy doesn�t love. She thinks he�s a nice person, but not for her daughter. And she thinks that Amy is too attached, obsessed, really, and using him as an escape from the things in her life that she should be dealing with. And Betsy doesn�t really trust Amy�s judgment when it comes to men. All of which came out in their argument. There was a whole money issue involved, too, revolving around a real estate course that Amy took and Betsy paid for that should have resulted in Amy getting her real estate license, except that she�s spent her time with Chris instead of taking the test. In Betsy�s version, she was calm and collected and reasonable, and Amy came at her like a wild animal.
The Husband went up and tried to ask Amy a couple questions, but got no response other than tears. He came downstairs and asked me if I would try. In the meantime, Betsy and I found her counselor�s business card and left a message asking her to call the house.
Upstairs, Amy was still on the floor and Jim was still kneeling next to her. He kept telling her that he loved her, that we all loved her, and that we just wanted to help. Then he�d ask her if she was hungry, or wanted to talk, or wanted to take a walk, or if she needed anything. She would whisper, �no thank you� to his questions, but remained responseless otherwise.
Eventually, she told him she just wanted to be alone for a while. He left, and I sat at the end of her bed, letting her know I was there but not saying anything else. We sat like that for a long time. I went to the bathroom and brought her a damp facecloth, which she accepted and used to wipe her eyes. Eventually, she stopped crying and sat up, her head on her knees.
�Listen, Amy, your mom called us today because she was very, very worried about you,� I said, �because in your argument, you told her you were going to hurt yourself. I�ve been sitting here with you for a while, and I know that you don�t really want to talk right now. I think that you�d rather just be by yourself up here, so I�ll make a deal with you. I�ll go downstairs, shut your door, tell your mom and dad and brother that you�re going to lay down and get some sleep, but you have to promise me that you won�t do anything to hurt yourself while you�re up here alone. Okay?�
She nodded. �Okay. Thanks.�
�Promise?�
�I promise.�
I stood up, closed her door and walked downstairs. They all looked at me expectantly. I could totally understand why she wouldn�t want to come downstairs.
Before we left, we went up to see her again, to tell her we were going. She hugged the Husband and said, �I�m sorry.�
�Sorry for what, Amy?�
�Mom said I hurt you.�
�Hurt me? No. You didn�t hurt me. I love you. I�m worried about you, but I�m not hurt.�
�Mom said I did.�
�Mom was wrong. I think she probably said some stuff in your argument that she didn�t mean. But it�s just an argument. I used to argue with her, too, when I still lived at home.�
�She never threatened to cut you off.�
�Huh?�
�She said she would cut me off. She said I had to choose, and if I went with Chris, she would cut me off.�
�I�m sure she didn�t mean it.� He looked concernedly at her.
�You guys should go. I made you late for your cookout.�
Eventually, she basically pushed us out the door. Then she went back to her spot on the floor.
She did finally get up. She got up, and made plans to move to her dad�s. She and her mom can�t stay in the house together. They bring out the worst in each other.
It�s gotten worse. Amy is muddling through. She�s fragile, but she�s stronger than she seems. Everything is dark to her now, but I know she�ll be okay eventually.
Betsy, on the other hand, is behaving like a spoiled child. Now that she�s past the initial worrying about Amy, she�s pissed at her. Monday is Amy�s birthday, but Betsy canceled her plans to celebrate it. Saturday, Amy is in her friend Sarah�s wedding, but Betsy�s decided at the last minute not to go, as she isn�t sure she can handle seeing Amy and Chris, never mind that Sarah�s family has already paid for her meal, and it�s supposed to be about Sarah anyway. And today, Betsy�s decided she�s going to sell the house and move to a smaller condo. Her reasoning on that is twofold, I think�one, she and Amy bought the house together, so selling it means she cuts that tie, and two, if she moves to a place that has no room for Amy, she can�t come back.
I want to shake her. I want to say to her, �Don�t you see? I�m sure that Amy isn�t perfect, but she�s your daughter. Don�t do anything you can�t take back! Don�t go somewhere you can�t return from with her. Life is way too short! Learn something from what my mom has gone through this year!�
But I can�t.
And the worst part is that it�s making life hell for the Husband, who is stuck in the middle of all this, trying not to take sides. Not that they should put him in that position, but at least one of them is doing so.
Guess which one.
Mom always told me I should marry an orphan. Now I really understand why.
Funny�the biggest thing that will come out of this for ME is that I�m seeing a much more sympathetic side of Amy. A side I want to protect and care about and be there for.
(Yep, I knew I could find a way to make it all about me!)
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