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I�m incapable of focusing today. Thankfully, I was able to work around it enough to get the payroll in correctly, but beyond that, I�ve accomplished nothing. My whole thought process is disjointed. I can�t concentrate on any one task for more than a few minutes. This does not bode well for any of the detail work I need to do today. I think I should have stayed in bed.
Actually, truthfully, I�ve felt that way since yesterday. I got up early, leaving the Boyfriend in bed, and settled onto the couch to create some thank you cards. I wanted to send one to my department for the fruit basket, to BARCC for the flowers, to the Boyfriend�s mom because I�ve been thinking a lot about Christmas and the fact that it�s the only family holiday we�ll ever spend together like that.
I made my cards and wrote my messages. Somewhere in the middle of my project, something in my head clicked. David is gone. For good. It hadn�t quite been real before. Now, the reality feels heavy, and I can�t get out from under it.
I think I preferred denial.
Bed. I need bed. That�s it exactly.
On a completely unrelated note, I started playing diary tag. It�s fun. You should try it.
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