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Yeah, so...it's early.
You'd think with being this tired, I'd take every momentary opportunity to sleep, luxuriate in it, stay in bed until the last possible second. The truth is that I wake up about every half hour because I have to pee, and my body would apparently rather spend the early morning tired and up than back in the warm bed. Of course, the fact that the Husband is in that bed, breathing his strep throat germs all over it might have something to do with why that was a bad idea, but I digress...
Could I mention, by the way, that the irrational mood swings are killing me? That the instantaneous white-hot anger, which dissapates as quickly as it appears, is annoying as hell, as is the proclivity to crying at absolutely everything. I think it's a cruel joke of nature that these particular symptoms of pregnancy happen--the PMS-like mood, the exhaustion, the need to pee every five minutes--when there's no outward sign you're pregnant. People just think you're falling apart, since at this point, you don't want to tell the world *just in case*. (Oh, and Scott--that means no mentioning it to anyone else from the SHS circle for right now, okay? I'd hate to have Tamara tell her parents and have Jodi or Ilan say something to my mom before the news is out...).
On the up side, I've not experienced the dreaded morning sickness yet, though I know that it usually appears just as you're congratulating yourself on avoiding it, so I'm keeping kind of quiet on that front.
The whole prospect of having a baby is still sort-of unreal, maybe because the reality FREAKS THE HELL OUT OF ME! I had a moment of panic yesterday where I looked in the mirror and thought, "Oh my god--I used to pray for the kids I babysat for's parents to come home. What if I get tired of the baby? What if I'm a horrible mother? "
Yep, folks, welcome inside my head...
And contrary to what you may all be thinking by reading this, I really do have happy and excited mixed in there, too. But this is MY space, and I don't have to be afraid to be honest in here, right? So I'll admit that I'm completely freaked out by the whole "creating life" concept even as I'm thrilled by it.
And now, if you'll all excuse me, it's time to start my day. After another trip to the bathroom.
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