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I'm really not wandering around, inches from giving up completely, folks. I'm afraid that the last few entries I've put in here make me sound like my will to live is slowly slipping away, leaving me a soulless, unhappy shell of the Jennifer I used to be. That's not true. I'm the same Jennifer, just with a sad shadow around the edges. But I'll be okay. Honest. I promise. You can call off the intervention.
I am, however, not answering my phone any more.
Years before I was born, my Uncle Larry (my grandmother's brother) married a woman named Emma who was divorced. This was YEARS before it was okay for a woman to be divorced, so it caused quite a scandal, even though her first husband had been a total ass. Anyway, Emma had two kids from her first marriage, Ray and Muriel. I always thought of them both as my relatives, regardless of the fact that we shared no blood.
Ray was one of my favorite uncles to be around when I was little. He was a man full of laughter who always had a good plan and a sparkle in his eye. He married a woman named Joyce who also had two kids from a previous marriage, Matt and Nick. I was in Luv with Nick when we were young--he was Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome, with the Joe Nice Guy personality to match. How could I not be in Luv with him?! They would come to Conway (Larry and Emma had the house at the top of the hill, my grandparents had the one at the bottom), and I would rejoice. Some of my favorite childhood moments had Ray and his family involved.
Last week, Ray went into the hospital for some pre-op tests. He was having hernia issues and his docs planned to operate. The pre-op tests led to some more tests, and on Saturday (four days ago), Ray was told he had liver cancer. His attitude was great--"Muriel beat her breast cancer--I can beat this!"
Ray died yesterday. His wife, his sister, his best friend and my Uncle Bobby were with him when it happened. I don't even know if Matt and Nick made it home in time to say goodbye.
You know, when we complained about the wedding list being too long, this wasn't how I wanted to shorten it.
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