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My horoscope for today:
�Despite any difficulties, just try to remember that there are probably a lot of people out there who like and respect you. You might wish that you could let loose a little bit today. And you could probably really use a breath of fresh air and a break from your routine right now. Any issues that may still be weighing on you are probably out of your hands, so just try to let go of them if you can.�
How very interesting.
I spent a good part of last night talking to Chris. This was good. Nothing hugely concrete came out of it, but at least he�s talking. And listening, too. I said what I felt I needed to say (stopping short of the �get help or move out� ultimatum). I�m sure it wasn�t the last time we�ll end up in conversation about it, but this was a good start.
I�m scattered today, unable to make a well-formed thought.
I copied yesterday�s entry and sent it to the Artboy. Once upon a time, he was my best editor, and I miss having him read my words. I knew he would appreciate my Motley Crue story. He answered me quickly, thanking me for sharing and making a couple comments about the writing itself.
I briefly considered just giving him the URL for the diary.
Then I sat down and reread a slew of my entries. I realized that I�m not secure enough to give him the address without going back and editing what I�ve said, which would defeat the purpose of writing here in the first place. So the address stays with me.
Funny, if our situations were reversed, I would have done an online search by now. Not that I�m sure he hasn�t. Exactly. Whenever someone does a Google search for something I know he knows is connected, I wonder.
Whatever�It was a passing thought.
Reading my older entries yesterday made me realize, though, that I�ve been pouring a lot of negative energy onto these pages recently. Particularly Boyfriend-related negativity. Which doesn�t accurately reflect how I feel. I think we�re just more apt to write about the bad stuff.
This is too bad. The good stuff is much nicer to remember. I don�t want this diary to turn into a catalog of faults.
Then I got home and found a card from the Boyfriend in my mail. He thanked me for being a calm and helpful resource through his house hunt. He also told me how much he looks forward to his house being our house.
It was very sweet.
Reading it made me feel worse about the bad Boyfriend stories I�ve been relaying.
I�m going to make an effort�not to keep the bad out of here, because that would be inaccurate, too�but to keep it a balance of everything.
So�
He emailed me today, telling me that Joe and Kirk will both be away next weekend with their respective girlfriends. Apparently, it�s Joe and Julie�s six-month anniversary of being a quasi-couple. Julie planned the weekend away and then invited Kirk and Tori to go with them.
If I get a weekend away with the Boyfriend, I don�t want company. He�s enough for me. We don�t get bored together. I can�t imagine wanting to celebrate an anniversary with another couple. I would think they�d get in the way.
Of course, Joe and Julie are in a very different place than we are. Maybe they need that extra stimulus.
On our second date (I think I�ve mentioned this in here before), the Boyfriend invited me to go mountain climbing with him. In New Hampshire, at a mountain that was a two-hour drive from my house. He later confessed that he was terrified about the drive time. He was afraid we�d sit in the truck in silence.
That didn�t happen.
By the time we got back to Boston, I felt like I�d known him for years. We learned so much about each other that day. We ended up going out that night, meeting the mutual friends who had introduced us at Nostalgia for a Clutch Grabwell show. Never once did I feel like I needed someone else in the conversation.
That hasn�t changed. Not in the three years since we met. Certainly not in the year and a half that we�ve been together this time around.
This weekend, actually, will be three years since we met.
Wow. I didn�t realize that until right now.
So happy anniversary to me. Sort-of.
I have way too much to do in the next hour and a half. Wish me luck, D-Land.
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