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One Month.
Thirty-one Days.
That�s it.
That�s all between now and the wedding.
Thirty-one sleeps, as Diana would tell me.
That�s not very many.
The bridesmaid dresses have arrived finally. Thank goodness. I�ve been trying not to stress about it, since there�s nothing I would accomplish by stressing, but if it got any later than this, we�d have problems. As it is, now it�s a rush.
But they�re here, and I�m not going to worry about it.
Each day, something else gets done. Today, I made plans with Carla to go Friday to find something for the little boys to wear. Also something that shouldn�t probably have waited until now, but there it is.
I also spoke with the telephone company today, talking about transferring the phone into Chris�s name. Tomorrow, I�ll call the gas company. And my insurance company. And the deejay.
It will all get done.
I refuse to worry.
This is the gentler, more relaxed Jennifer.
Or something like that.
I�m off to see Wendy tonight. Which is a good thing. The Boyfriend asked me yesterday if I felt like the medication is working.
Hmmmm.
Is the Zoloft helping? Truth is, it�s hard for me to tell. I don�t feel like I�m going to burst into tears at any given second any more, which is an improvement.
I think that once we get through next week and the move is over, I�ll feel better, too. As sad as I am about moving out of the Apartment, it will be good to be centralized to one Home. And the Condo will feel more like I belong there, as most of my stuff is moving in before me. My books will be on the bookshelves in the guestroom/office. My tables will be in the living room. My baskets will be�well�everywhere.
And that will be better than what I find when I go home now, back to the apartment. Which is piles of boxes and packed things, bare walls, empty cupboard. All of which is probably not helping my stress level.
So�
Anyway�
Do you want to know a secret, Diaryland?
We�re thirty-one days from the wedding. And I am really, really scared.
I think it�s just the move, bringing it out in me. I keep reminding myself that uprooting my whole life is a big thing, and that it�s normal to have some reservations about it.
It�s not that I�ve stopped loving the Boyfriend. Nor have I changed my mind about wanting to get married.
I�m just�a little overwhelmed right now. I�ll get through it. That�s part of what Wendy is for. Right?
I got yelled at for being too thin today. Made me laugh. I was told to stop dieting. The person who yelled at me has no idea about what�s been happening in my life. Nor does she know about the Zoloft Diet. And I don�t really want to fill her in. But neither do I think I�ve lost too much weight. I don�t see that much difference in the way I look. People are funny. Sometimes, I think they say things because they feel like that�s what they�re supposed to say, whether they truthfully feel that way or not.
Off to catch my train. Good evenings, all.
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