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Feeling awfully not good today. Went to bed early (before 10 again) feeling vomitous. Woke up this morning feeling both vomitous and headachy. Microsoft Word and I are disagreeing on the word vomitous this morning. It keeps underlining it in ugly red squiggles. I think it�s a perfectly good word.
Scattered mind today. Isn�t the medication supposed to help with that? I swear it was helping�Am I used to it already? Was I supposed to up the dosage? Should I call my doctor? I just don�t know. If I could think about one thing for more than 12 seconds, perhaps I�d find an answer.
Wendy last night. At the very end of our session, I started telling her about my uncle and how he�s gone bad. I didn�t realize I was harboring that much anger in his direction. But I am. I am so extremely angry at him for doing this to my mom AND to me. My family has gotten smaller and smaller due to events beyond anyone�s control. I can�t believe he�s going to make it smaller still because of something so stupid and avoidable. They haven�t RSVP�d for the wedding yet. Mom said that if we don�t get their card, she had planned to just ask Diana if they�re coming. Not me. I�m going to call him. If he�s not coming to my wedding, he�s going to have to tell me himself.
I think perhaps my uncle angst was the beginning source of my vomitous feeling. It�s a theory, anyway.
When I came out of Wendy�s office, I found Jay, Kristy and Dave standing next to my mom�s car. They�d come out of a restaurant across the street to find her parked behind their car, waiting for me. We stood and talked for almost half an hour. A good thing.
I have at least five large projects sitting on my desk in various states of doneness. So far today, I�ve accomplished very little on any of them. It�s almost 10 am, and I�ve managed to set up a meeting and send out some email about on-call parking stickers. Oh, and I sorted my RTAT sheets and answered a few payroll questions. Not much result for the two and a half hours I�ve been at my desk. This is not good. I can�t afford to be this unfocused. I have too much to do.
What I want to do instead is bail out of here, sneak home and go to bed.
Yeah. That would be a much better option.
Not going to happen, though. I have to save up that vacation time. Only 14 more workdays for me until the wedding.
Shit. I have WAY too much to do for that to be true.
Snap out of it, girl�it�s all in your head.
Or is it?
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