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Almost a week. That�s a long stretch with no words�
Wednesday saw me flat on my back, trying to regain some sort of balance in my system. Damn medication. Thanks to those of you who offered your own experiences and reinforced my belief that I hadn�t just come down with the world�s most sudden case of the stomach flu. Between the Zoloft and the heat, I was a wreck. I�d get up, wet my head, lay back down in front of the fan and sleep. Get up, wet my head, lay back down in front of the fan and sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat. I couldn�t fathom anything else. In the late afternoon, I went to meet my mom. She and I drove down to meet the Boyfriend and drive to Betsy�s. There, I wet my head, sat on the couch and slept. Got up, wet my head, sat on the couch and slept.
The highlight of my holiday came Thursday night. The Boyfriend and I sat on his balcony in our jammies, watching the Boston fireworks over the horizon. We had a perfect view. Turned the TV up in the background so we could hear the BSO and just enjoyed, minus the crowd and the noise and the heat. This was good.
See�something I like about the Condo.
This weekend, I started to pack.
Saturday morning, the Boyfriend and I were sitting in my mom�s kitchen. He was planning to go slap on the final coat of paint in the Condo bathroom, while I was about to head back to the apartment. He started prodding me, mostly good-naturedly, about the fact that I hadn�t left yet. Finally, I just looked at him and sighed.
�I know that you�ve moved lots of times, and that it�s old hat to you at this point. I also know that you�re really excited about the prospect of my moving in to the Condo, but I need you to remember something. I haven�t moved a lot. I�ve lived in this apartment for the past seven years. It�s been my only home that didn�t involve my family. And as much as I�m leaving it for good reasons, it�s still hard for me. And as much as I�m packing for good reasons, putting all my stuff in boxes in there is like dismantling my whole life. And that is really hard for me. This is a big change. Bigger than anything else I�ve ever done. And I�m going to do it, but I need to do it on my own terms, in my own time. And while I don�t expect you to necessarily understand that, I need you to be aware of it.�
I think I made my point. Although last night, on the phone, he rather gleefully asked me if I�d packed any of the kitchen yet. A pointed �Don�t Rush Me� seemed to do the trick.
Amazing how much stuff I�ve saved in there that I really, truly don�t need. Our trash pile is going to be ridiculous on Thursday. And it�s all just crap. Stuff I couldn�t possibly have believed I�d need ever again, but kept anyway. I�ve got several boxes going right now: desk stuff I want to save; knick knack stuff I want in the Condo; clothes for the next yard sale (including almost all of my City Girl clothes�I don�t go out any more. Someone who does should be wearing them!); other �stuff� for the yard sale; things I want to save but don�t really need to have instantly accessible (this box has all my old paper journals, letters, photo albums, the Artboy Box); and TRASH. Right now, the trash is winning the space battle. I�ve been somewhat merciless. I figure the more I throw away, the less I have to unpack.
This morning, I woke up and turned over to face, instead of my bookcase and desk, boxes and bags.
I hate this.
Yesterday was 100% Apartment. I got up in the morning and cleaned the bathroom and the living room. Chris wandered out and we went to breakfast, then headed to the grocery store. When we got back, I cleaned the pantry while he cleaned the kitchen. Later, he made dinner while I went through some more piles and we ate together. It was the way the past six months were supposed to go and haven�t. I�m trying really hard not to feel cheated.
The good news, and the reason for all the cleaning, is that we potentially found Chris a new roommate. The Boyfriend and I went to dinner at Centre Street on Saturday night, and I asked the Eye Candy Waiter if he knew anyone looking for a place to live. He pointed us in the direction of one of the other waitresses. She left a message for Chris today. The phone has been busy for the past half hour. I�m hoping it�s �cause he�s talking to her.
I would feel so much better about leaving if I knew there was someone to take my place.
Time to pack up and head out. Good Monday night, all�
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